This is what the Green Lantern movie should have been, the ring malfunctions while finding a suitable host and selects a bumbling idiot who proceeds to fuck everything up and maybe fix some of it by accident along the way.
>>39351612 >Wait, what? Hal, we can and have been wounded. And we're capable of being killed. You've actually seen both of these occur. We just don't age you fucking a-hole.
My favourite bits with Hal are where, with his super-powered ring that has made him no less than a fucking demigod, he still decides to attack goons hand to hand.
You can summon any weapon or defense you can imagine from a safe distance, but...nah. Go at them swinging your meaty, breakable fists, and put your severely damaged skull right in their path.
Fuck yellow, Hal's weakness is Hal. And being tackled by a two or three fairly willowy looking mobsters who proceed to beat him stupid (which has happened way too many times).
One of the first comics I ever read was this old 80's DC Christmas special in a barber shop as a kid. All the DC Heroes got captured and had to escape some Christmas-y deathtraps. It featured John Stewart teaming up for the first time with the JLA.
Because when Hal got the emergency call to help, he slipped on a bar of soap and knocked himself out.
>One comic takes place during Leap Year, when women are expected to propose to men (an old tradition I had personally never heard of). To keep Carol from asking him, Hal uses his ring to create a giant monster he has to fight. Unfortunately, after creating it, Hal gets hit in the head by a model airplane and knocked out. (This begins a long tradition of Hal getting smacked in the head and knocked out by almost every object in existence.) The monster, rather than disappear, winds up rampaging through Coast City, although more in confusion than malice. It ultimately heads toward an atomic pile, where it could cause a devastating explosion. In the nick of time, Green Lantern shows up to dissolve the creature into goo and save the day. He receives honors from the mayor for this deed
>>39352430 >Here, Hal. This is the great helmet of valor gifted to you for your reliable service. Wear it with pride. Wear it, like, all the time. So people can see how great you are.
Hal has almost been undone by a billboard and a newspaper. Nothing magic or supernatural or super-sciency about them. I shit not, these things almost got him killed. Do they have a quota for hiring the mentally disabled they needed to fill? I'm pretty sure I've got a two year old nephew who could do this job more effectively. He doesn't even have the excuse of being grandfathered (technically it was an uncle, but still) in like that dipshit G'nort.
>>39352580 At least with G'Nort's retarded ass they just stuck him in a sector with nothing larger than bacteria to look after. Hal? Shit, give him a heavily populated planet. One with lots of tall metal and glass structures to whack into. And when he goes out into space, don't worry, the planet is surrounded with hundreds of big heavy metal satellites for him to again smash his retarded noggin into.
>>39351723 I think Guardians were indestructible until they suddenly weren't when Emerald Twilight came around and they got beat by Hal or suicided out of desperation to stop Hal from getting to the battery.
>>39352740 What about Abin Sur's planet? That's bound to be lots of planets to look out after in Hal's sector. They must be in total ruin from neglect by now.
>>39352922 He's Hal Jordan. He's probably more than once run crying to the Justice League because that mean third grader Timmy Foster took his ice cream money again.
I have always loved how Hal's most famous and character defining series was Green Lantern/Green Arrow , where Green arrow would yell at Hal for blindly following whatever people in authority would say causing Hal to basically blindly follow whatever Green Arrow had just said...
Plus this cover makes him look like such an asshole...
>>39351426 Hal Jordan, bested at every turn by low level thugs, goons, random Tibetans, businessmen in work suits with briefcases, and a fucking newspaper finally gets his revenge! By...you know...socking Carol in the jaw. Good job buddy.
>>39353449 >Think I'm an idiot huh? At least I'm not raising a smackhead! You know, right there. The smackhead we're staring at five feet away, well within earshot. You see him Oliver? The smackhead? He's yours right? The one with the heroin in him?
>>39353843 Pieface was a fucking professional mechanic when Hal started being Green Lantern. That's not a ward, that's a poor bastard Hal nicknamed a word for a person who looked dull and flat. Because evidently calling him 'Tom' was too hard.
>>39352636 That's kinda too bad, actually. I find the idea of a guy with godlike power who is incapable of basic logic and is extremely accident prone absolutely wonderful.
I'm just going to have to read silver age GL then.
...You already call the guy Pieface and now you turn him into a goddamn bird.
A+ friendship Hal. Jesus Christ, Thomas, if half these goons who whip Jordan's ass, you could do it. You're a mechanic, you've got to be tough. Just break his stupid face until he at least calls you something more dignified.
You know, I'm noticing a number of these are actually from the Bronze Age, when comics started to get a more serious again. And yet Hal is still a colossal fuckup in them.
>>39351403 The ring originally wanted Guy Gardner, but Hal was the closest to it so it just went with him.
Later Hal found out that the ring wanted someone else originally so he went to meet him, they became friends, Hal accidentally knocked Guy into a coma, slept with his girl-friend, and that's how Guy got brain damage which is still canon.
Before the coma he was actually a pretty mellow guy, but since he was in the coma so long he wasn't exactly himself when he came out, and ever since then he's been a little quicker to anger.
He isn't just dumb, he's a fucking grade A jackass. He completely ruined Guy's life and then made his mission to publicly humiliate him when he was after Guy's ring.
Oh, Hal. That's right. Call Guy on his craziness, when you're the one who put him on a coma and then on top of it stole his girlfriend.
There you go, Guy. Tell him how it really is. That's why Guy's so fucking awesome. He never stopped fighting for what was his, for was was right, despite all odds.
In the "War of the Green Lanterns" event Guy reminded of all the stupid shit Hal had ever done to him and they fought, but at the time they were both being slightly influenced by Parallax.
So they broke the fight off to pursue their mission.
Oh, and they also fought when Hal went all Parallax on everyone. Guy Gardner receives a vision of what Hal was doing to the corps, and then went with Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Captain Atom, Alan Scott and some other to stop him. Hal tried to kill him and then destroyed the prototypical yellow ring Guy used to have.
Hal ended up accepting that Guy was the only Green Lantern who could do the job as it was supposed to be done AND also had a good life compared to the others.
Hal was a walking ruin. John destroyed TWO worlds. Kyle's life was ruined by the ring, his girlfriend was killed and stuffed in a fridge... and Bueno Excelente raped him.
>>
Doctor Green!QT.V9kdcwE 08/02/12(Thu)02:50 No.39365765
Doctor Green!QT.V9kdcwE08/02/12(Thu)02:50No.39365765
>>39353915 Pieface was actually a racial slur for people of Inuit (Eskimo) descent. It's because the Ice Cream Bars, Eskimo Pies, had Eskimos as the mascot. So yeah...he was just being racist.
This. It wasn't like he was suddenly posessed one day either. I mean you can see it was a gradual case of Hal not being able to handle his shit, and the Guardians being the dicks they tend to be these days.
>>
Doctor Green!QT.V9kdcwE 08/02/12(Thu)02:54 No.39365859
Doctor Green!QT.V9kdcwE08/02/12(Thu)02:54No.39365859
>>39365161 Hal being controlled by the fear entity known as Parallax was a retcon. This is just Hal Jordan and he was getting older.
>Hal ended up accepting that Guy was the only Green Lantern who could do the job as it was supposed to be done AND also had a good life compared to the others.
Actually not true. He just tried to make amends because he was feeling really shitty about the stupid things he had done in life. I'm talking about Green Lantern: Rebirth here.
And John Stewart was a great Green Lantern. Sure, he blew Xanshi thanks to his over-confidence, but that event changed the character completely. He practically became a monk and tried to make things better, like with Mosaic World, which granted him Guardian status thanks to his efforts and accomplishments, before Hal decided to go all Parallax destroying the corps, robbing John of his newfound powers and his resurrected wife, thus ending Mosaic.
Hal kept threating Guy as a chump, though, but not at the same intensity as he used to do.
He didn't know when to quit, when to stop trying to control everything in the end and give up sometimes, he was so willful that he was willing to kill everyone and go to absurd lengths to put everything back to the way it was and make go back to the way things were.
After he crossed the line with Kilowog he could no longer turn back, he had sacrificed too much to simply give up anymore.
Parralax was the down side of willpower, not knowing when to quit even when it's sometimes the more appropriate choice.
>>39366473 I'm still amazed that Hal didn't crash into that old Indigo guy with his car construct a few issues ago.
>>
Doctor Green!QT.V9kdcwE 08/02/12(Thu)03:27 No.39366725
Doctor Green!QT.V9kdcwE08/02/12(Thu)03:27No.39366725
>>39366664 In the next panel Batman beats him up and starts screaming, "MIND WIPING IS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!! I'M BRUCE WAYNE!!!! I'M BRUCE WAYNEEEEEEEE!!!!!" All while tears run down his face.
Hal's weakness is yellow. He has no right getting clubbed like this all the time.
>>
Doctor Green!QT.V9kdcwE 08/02/12(Thu)03:32 No.39366853
Doctor Green!QT.V9kdcwE08/02/12(Thu)03:32No.39366853
>>39366747 Batman then takes Hal to Wayne Manor where he creates a diagram and picture chart showing that he is in fact Bruce Wayne, even going as far as digging up old news paper articles and family photos. After a few hours Hal finally realizes that Batman is none other than BRUCE WAYNE! He then uses his ring to wipe this knowledge away...starting the process all over again, leaving Batman in tears.
>>39366880 Yeah, Streak the Wonder Dog was originally a back-up feature in GL. He eventually became so popular that they pushed GL to the back up of his own title.
Not to mention that by the end, in their cross-overs, it was Streak who resolved most of the cases, taking as well the fame, while Alan Scott stood in the background completely overshadowed by a fucking dog. Who couldn't even talk.
>>39368409 I think we found the Hope Corgi. Except no wait, blue lanterns are normally useless, and just make green lanterns awesome. This is some sort of fear dog.
>>39368877 Green Lantern Vol.3 #48. You can read Emerald Twilight too if you want first. I think it's the most interesting Hal Jordan story ever told and provides an amazing juxtaposition to all the wackiness seen here. In fact all these head injuries might help explain Emerald Twilight.
Am I the only one who thinks Hal's orignal reason for transforming into Parallax was a fine one? I mean the guy just lost his entire city, 7 million dead, if that doesn't turn someone supervillain then nothing will.
Makes me think of what would happen to Batman or Superman or any other hero if they utterly failed to save thier city and it was wiped from the map.
Yes. First his comic book was just called Guy Gardner, where Guy managed to get Sinestro first yellow ring. Then, after Hal tried to kill him during the Parallax thing, the comic book changed the title to Guy Gardner: Warrior,
>>39375875 No, I mean Hal isn't on Earth so much so he doesn't have that many awkward things to bump into, pedestrian thugs to kick him in the balls/throw oscars at him and showers to slip out of. He'd have to go maximum retard to fuck around and crash into stuff in space.
>>39365765 'Pieface' was never recorded as a slur for eskimos until the mid-60s, after Pieface was already a character (he'd been introduced in 1960). Pieface was an insult, but it meant a person who had Down syndrome, because of the commonality of flatter faces/noses (like they were smashed 'with a pie pan'; a pie-face). The Eskimo Pie connection was made later (it was in like 65 or so, when an author made a joke about Eskimo people being 'piefaced' then cracked that it's why they make 'Eskimo pie', which is retarded, but it's the first time the two were connected).
I'd watch the hell out of a show staring bumbling Green Lantern. Imagine him somehow saving the day and earning the respect of the Justice League in his quest to get to a dentist appointment.
>>39380311 Even before she Space Magic'd her age up, didn't Hal constantly have thoughts like "THAT UNDERAGE ASS IS SURE FINE BUT I WOULD NEVER TOUCH IT" and the like?
>>39352367 I have this issue! Some crook was just released from prison and had 'built up his willpower' before release. Thus he somehow now had the ability to siphon power from Hal's ring and use it himself.
He was also able to wrest control of it from him in battle.
n Ungara, the news of Abin Sur's death fragmented their society. Civil war led to the creation of the plasma satellite, a weapon meant to rain havoc over the enemy states. One side tried to defuse the satellite, but instead detonated it. Ungara was thrown off its axis by less than one hundreth of a degree. More than one hundred million Ungarans perished in the resulting quakes. The Ungarans sent out a military expedition to Earth to seize Hal Jordan's aid. Forcing the Green Lantern did not work, he had problems on Earth and did not know of the Ungarans' plight. Jordan was later ordered by the Guardians to assist the people of Abin Sur's homeworld. He was unable to move the planet back to its original orbit. Tidal waves drowned three of Ungara's continents, with no survivors. Jordan then tried breaking the ice and utilizing molten lava. These plans also failed. Covered in ice, finally, the planet settled into its new orbit.
The arrival and subsequent action of Arisia of Graxos IV is credited for returning Ungara to a habitable state. The Arisia, along with Hal Jordan, polished a crystalline moon to act as a lens to focus the Ungaran sun. Now the world would be in a perpetual spring.
>Hal destroys Ungara >Has to get the loli he was banging to fix it
>>39365341 >Guy Gardner is a successful yet surely hero and proved himself to be a very capable user of the ring >Hal swoops in and fights him over the rights to be Earth's only Green Lantern >Guy's entire team is cheering against him >Guy tries to be a good sport about losing but then Hal is all "No, just give me the ring and get lost >We're supposed to apparently be happy and cheering judging by the ending now that Hal Jordan is back in torn and is now the only Green Lantern
I'm not really sure what to comment on this, but whoever wrote it seems to love Hal
>>39392910 yeah, I think they smash a jet during the fight with Sinestro, with "Cpt. Hal Jordan" painted on it or something. Apart from that, it's Kyle, with parts of Hal's original origin story.
>>39393857 Well, I hope this isn't going to start a Marvel Vs DC turf war, but there's a reason why stuff like Fantastic Four and Spider-Man turned Marvel into the more successful publisher. DCs silver age stuff is pretty much mostly the exact same shit as in the golden age, just with slightly better art, less Nazi punching, and less death by Batman. 60s Spider-Man may look goofy today, but if you look at Flash or Green Lantern, it's easy to see why it's regrded as such an important development that Stan Lee did at least KINDA try to have a few characters act like actual people sometimes.
>>39394091 >DCs silver age stuff is pretty much mostly the exact same shit as in the golden age
Nope. Silver Age Superman may not throw around corrupt businessmen like very early Golden Age Superman did, but he's more well-developed in comparison.
>>39402296 >>39402312 That was pretty tricky, well played Hal. Also I love modern nods to Hal being a buffoon. It's nice to see Johns take him down a notch every once and a while, like in >>39401997