ads

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>>39351153

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>>39351161

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>>39351184

"There are more important matters... like citrus."

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>>39351206

truly the greetist of them all...

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>>39351231

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>>39351250

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>>39351268

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>>39351293

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Hal Jordan's greatest hits?

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>>39351314

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>>39351351

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Oh Hal Jordan. You're so incompetent.

>>39351351
>It took him ten hours to figure out how to make a stethoscope.

Seriously, how did he become a Green Lantern?

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>>39351392

>>39351403
And the second best was Guy Gardner.

Maybe the ring's successor programming doesn't work so good on humans.

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>>39351426

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>>39351507

>>39351507
Oh god

>>39351507
Are they trying to characterize Hal as a bumbling idiot or is he meant to be serious?

'Cause that's some hilarious shit.

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>>39351544

I demand other posters!

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>>39351585

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>>39351612

How is Hal capable of speech? His brain would be mush.

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>>39351650

Anyone have this without the caption? I'd appreciate it.

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>>39351657

>>39351657
That's the power of the Green Lantern Ring. Able to maintain the illusion of life in someone that has zero brain activity.

This is what the Green Lantern movie should have been, the ring malfunctions while finding a suitable host and selects a bumbling idiot who proceeds to fuck everything up and maybe fix some of it by accident along the way.

>>39351612
>Wait, what? Hal, we can and have been wounded. And we're capable of being killed. You've actually seen both of these occur. We just don't age you fucking a-hole.

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>>39351694

>>39351723
Man, humans aren't really giving best impressions on the galactic stage are they?

I've had little exposure to Hal. I never knew he was THIS bad.

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>>39351738

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>>39351779

I have like twenty more but I have to leave. If this thread is still going when I return, I'll post them.

>>39351714
That would have been fucking amazing.

captcha: cogitationes densar
lol

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gotta love hal

My favourite bits with Hal are where, with his super-powered ring that has made him no less than a fucking demigod, he still decides to attack goons hand to hand.

You can summon any weapon or defense you can imagine from a safe distance, but...nah. Go at them swinging your meaty, breakable fists, and put your severely damaged skull right in their path.

Fuck yellow, Hal's weakness is Hal. And being tackled by a two or three fairly willowy looking mobsters who proceed to beat him stupid (which has happened way too many times).

correct me if I'm wrong but the green lantern never was intended as a comedy right?

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>>39351844
Weakness to a color is seriously the dumbest thing ever.

>>39351914
Silver Age, dawg.

>>39351908
>You know what? Fuck this guy, I'm gonna take care of this shit on my own.

>>39351907
imagine if someone with some actual imagination had gotten the ring

imagine someone like Asimov being chosen

I see why they skipped over Hal entirely in the DCAU and went straight for Stewart and Raynor.

>>39351937
I'm european so the concept of silver age is kind of foreign

The fuck is a space cop going after mobsters for?

>>39352009
Er... What?

>>39352009
60's comics.

Imagine if the Batman TV series was a comic book.

That's kinda the feel of things.

>>39352021
what part about Hal is boring do you not understand

>>39351915
as dumb as making 90% of your body robotic while keeping your mortal bad lungs and heart?

>>39352009
It's when comics were funny instead of cool. Bullshit happened. We try to ignore it or laugh at it.

>>39351998
But they didn't. He and Sinestro are the main characters of Green Lantern.

>>39352027
europe never had heavy restrictions on comic books so there never was an ultra-goofy silver age where nothing was legal

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I have a lot of panels in which he's beaten up by completely ordinary guys.

>>39352084
>Unlimited power
>Beaten up by Tibetans
This will never cease to amuse me.

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>>39352128

>>39352149
if you're going cartoonish why not drop a giant anvil?

PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER
TINY TINY BRAIN

I wish the green lantern movie starred Jack Black instead. Maybe make the movie a space cop rock opera.

File: 1343864404388.jpg-(183 KB, 653x1024, hal versus soap.jpg)

One of the first comics I ever read was this old 80's DC Christmas special in a barber shop as a kid. All the DC Heroes got captured and had to escape some Christmas-y deathtraps. It featured John Stewart teaming up for the first time with the JLA.

Because when Hal got the emergency call to help, he slipped on a bar of soap and knocked himself out.

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>>39352200
So the ring said 'fuck this asshole' and went to Stewart.

>>39351870
That's what the Jack Black GL movie would've been.

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It should be noted he almost died because of this.

>>39351231
oh god, can't stop laughing

I need so need to pick up Showcase Presents GL Vol 3/4 at some point

>>39352194
There is an article out there for you with your name on it.

http://www.gq.com/entertainment/movies-and-tv/201106/green-lantern-ryan-reynolds-jack-black

File: 1343864637778.jpg-(120 KB, 331x644, hal jordan is defeated by(...).jpg)

Note the completely normal guy protects his head successfully.

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>One comic takes place during Leap Year, when women are expected to propose to men (an old tradition I had personally never heard of). To keep Carol from asking him, Hal uses his ring to create a giant monster he has to fight. Unfortunately, after creating it, Hal gets hit in the head by a model airplane and knocked out. (This begins a long tradition of Hal getting smacked in the head and knocked out by almost every object in existence.) The monster, rather than disappear, winds up rampaging through Coast City, although more in confusion than malice. It ultimately heads toward an atomic pile, where it could cause a devastating explosion. In the nick of time, Green Lantern shows up to dissolve the creature into goo and save the day. He receives honors from the mayor for this deed

Good job Hal. A real fucking hero.

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This happens more often than you'd think.

>>39352360
He looks so proud of his dashing plan in the first panel.

Oh Hal.

say why didn't the corps just give him a helmet?

>>39352430
It would only hurt him more.

>>39352430
He would knock himself out putting it on backwards.

>>39352465
Nothing dear
Is not your fault

Maybe the corps has some quota for hiring the mentally deficient, realized they were behind, bam, Hal gets the ring.

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>>39352430
>Here, Hal. This is the great helmet of valor gifted to you for your reliable service. Wear it with pride. Wear it, like, all the time. So people can see how great you are.

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>>39352510
A helmet would muss up his hair.

>>39352508
The real reason why Sinestro leaves the Corps

Hal has almost been undone by a billboard and a newspaper. Nothing magic or supernatural or super-sciency about them. I shit not, these things almost got him killed. Do they have a quota for hiring the mentally disabled they needed to fill? I'm pretty sure I've got a two year old nephew who could do this job more effectively. He doesn't even have the excuse of being grandfathered (technically it was an uncle, but still) in like that dipshit G'nort.

>>39352551
>I never expected anything like this
Really Hal?

God dammit /co/. I actually liked Hal before reading this thread. Noe I just feel sorry for him.

I'm kinda new to DC.
Is Hal really this much of a bumbling idiot or is this just the Silver Age in full swing?

Because, if this is business as usual for him, I'm extremely interested.

>>39352613
This is Silver Age, friend.

He's pretty good in the modern book.

>>39352288
"The Sunday Tribune! My most fiendish nemesis!"
"Isn't that Sinestro?"
"...Have you seen how thick the Sunday edition is!?"

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>>39352613
He's not a very clever man.

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>>39352471

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>>39352597
Look on the bright side. He has survived all this when countless other Green Lanterns died. So he can't be the most incompetent member.

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>>39352613

>>39352580
At least with G'Nort's retarded ass they just stuck him in a sector with nothing larger than bacteria to look after. Hal? Shit, give him a heavily populated planet. One with lots of tall metal and glass structures to whack into. And when he goes out into space, don't worry, the planet is surrounded with hundreds of big heavy metal satellites for him to again smash his retarded noggin into.

>>39351723
I think Guardians were indestructible until they suddenly weren't when Emerald Twilight came around and they got beat by Hal or suicided out of desperation to stop Hal from getting to the battery.

>>39352683
I disagree. Hal is so fucking incompetent at everything, he can't even die right.

He sucks so hard, he has effectively failed at failure.

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>>39352692

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>>39352766
And yet he has the will to continue on.

Hal Jordan - Super Toddler!

>>39352782

>Hal Jordan: super cop

>>39352808
Maybe the requirement should be supreme willpower and a basic modicum of competence.

>>39352740
What about Abin Sur's planet? That's bound to be lots of planets to look out after in Hal's sector. They must be in total ruin from neglect by now.

>>39352868
Hal looks pretty cut, and he has a superpower-dispensing ring. How are two skinny guys working him over like a sack of shit?

>>39351915
eh. I think it made a lot of sense because of Parallax and it's pretty good when it doesn't result in such stupid situations like that.

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>>39352922
Hal Jordan.

>>39352922
The ring gives him fake muscles.

>>39352922
He's Hal Jordan. He's probably more than once run crying to the Justice League because that mean third grader Timmy Foster took his ice cream money again.

>>39351403
No, I think it took him 10 hours to figure out that he should use a stethoscope.

Even more stupid, I know, but that's our Hal!

>>39353005
>Circus slapstick gags! My only weakness!

>>39353111
>One of my many weaknesses
FTFY

Why the fuck is he constantly in regular brawls?

Hal, honey, you have a ring hat can do anything you need it to. Stop running up to the assholes, they just kick your asses.

Jesus, did the Guardians make sure to pin his milk money and some mittens to his outfit before sending him out space-policing?

>>39353179
"Their...ISO 9000 certification....too powerful for me!"

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>>39353281
>mind shot
Yes Hal, that's because your skull gets more hits than a bong at Burning Man.

>>39351426
What is Carol wearing here? Is that a Star Sapphire outfit?

>The Guardians proceed to pad every sharp corner in the sector.

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>>39353379
Well, you know, she is Star Sapphire.

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>>39353207
I think they just gave up on him and were waiting for him to die.

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I have always loved how Hal's most famous and character defining series was Green Lantern/Green Arrow , where Green arrow would yell at Hal for blindly following whatever people in authority would say causing Hal to basically blindly follow whatever Green Arrow had just said...

Plus this cover makes him look like such an asshole...

>>39351426
Hal Jordan, bested at every turn by low level thugs, goons, random Tibetans, businessmen in work suits with briefcases, and a fucking newspaper finally gets his revenge! By...you know...socking Carol in the jaw. Good job buddy.

>>39353419
I know, but it doesn't look like any Star Sapphire outfit I've ever seen before.

>>39352200
So that's John Stewart's origin story, eh?

>>39353449
>Think I'm an idiot huh? At least I'm not raising a smackhead! You know, right there. The smackhead we're staring at five feet away, well within earshot. You see him Oliver? The smackhead? He's yours right? The one with the heroin in him?

>>39353479
You do realize Star Sapphire was a thing before it had a corps, right?

Thread kind of makes me wish there was some effective means of doing something like Mystery Science Theatr for goofy as shit comics on a large scale.

>>39353449
>ward
There's that word again. DC really had a hard on
for it, eh?
Is there a character who didn't have a junior version running around?

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>>39353596
At least I raised SOMETHING Hal...How is that egg your talking care of?

>>39353596
Master of sensitivity, Hal Jordan.

>>39353719
Well... there's Green Lantern, right?

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>>39353754
Umm....

>>39353754
Does Pieface count?

>>39353843
Pieface was a fucking professional mechanic when Hal started being Green Lantern. That's not a ward, that's a poor bastard Hal nicknamed a word for a person who looked dull and flat. Because evidently calling him 'Tom' was too hard.

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>>39353843

>>39352636
That's kinda too bad, actually. I find the idea of a guy with godlike power who is incapable of basic logic and is extremely accident prone absolutely wonderful.

I'm just going to have to read silver age GL then.

>>39353956

...You already call the guy Pieface and now you turn him into a goddamn bird.

A+ friendship Hal. Jesus Christ, Thomas, if half these goons who whip Jordan's ass, you could do it. You're a mechanic, you've got to be tough. Just break his stupid face until he at least calls you something more dignified.

>>39354007
"Avenge me, Pieface... Destroy the LA...Chron...i...c..."

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I can't believe nobody's posted this yet

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Out of context I think this is rather amusing.

>>39354181
"And once they put up that babygate, there'll be no way I can get in here to fuck things up! Safe!

Isn't their a Flailing Dork Corps they could've shuffled him into?

>>39354113
Well, Hal Jordan evidently gets some things right.

>>39354181
wait, what?

>>39354318
The Guardians wanted someone fearless....they never said he had to be smart....

Is this "Head Injuries the Series" or "The Adventures of Incompetence Man"?

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>>39354387
They're watching over Shark. A tiger shark who evolved into a gorilla then a man and finally a shark man.

You know, I'm noticing a number of these are actually from the Bronze Age, when comics started to get a more serious again. And yet Hal is still a colossal fuckup in them.

>>39354455
Next page?

>>39351403
The ring originally wanted Guy Gardner, but Hal was the closest to it so it just went with him.

Later Hal found out that the ring wanted someone else originally so he went to meet him, they became friends, Hal accidentally knocked Guy into a coma, slept with his girl-friend, and that's how Guy got brain damage which is still canon.

Before the coma he was actually a pretty mellow guy, but since he was in the coma so long he wasn't exactly himself when he came out, and ever since then he's been a little quicker to anger.

>>39352683

...you know he killed a fairly large percentage of those.

>>39359448
Or will be canon up until GLC #0 revises some things.

>>39353005
yellow cake! NOOOOO

I love this thread.

>>39354861
Hal was always stupid. It's canon. He wasn't the one the ring was meant to go to, and I guess it amped it up.

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can you blame them?

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Hal getting anal probed.

Hal: Racist, sexist, occasionally pedophile, stupid asshole who is always getting beat up on his job.

Maybe him constantly knocking himself out is karma.

>>39360105
I'm just wondering why they didn't shoot without saying anything

>>39360196
>my_sides.exe

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Oh the irony.

>>39360365
>SUDDENLY, HAL JORDAN FORGETS HOW TO BREATHE

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The colourist screwed up. And did Barry really say the bit in brackets out loud? No wonder he and Hal are such good friends.

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It's from all the blows to the head. See a neurologist.

Oh my god were all silver-age comic books this hilarious?

>>39362354
Half of this aren't even Silver Age. But yes, they were-

>>39362354
Have you seen some of the Silver Age Batman villains?

>>39362547

No.

>>39363463
Look up the Rainbow Creature and the Penny Plunderer real quick.

>>39363735
Mother of god

>>39364173
All of Silver Age is that bad.

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He isn't just dumb, he's a fucking grade A jackass. He completely ruined Guy's life and then made his mission to publicly humiliate him when he was after Guy's ring.

Oh, Hal. That's right. Call Guy on his craziness, when you're the one who put him on a coma and then on top of it stole his girlfriend.

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There you go, Guy. Tell him how it really is. That's why Guy's so fucking awesome. He never stopped fighting for what was his, for was was right, despite all odds.

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What's about to happen is pretty ugly and childish.

3/10.

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>>39364967

>Hal Jordan
>Giving somebody shit for being knocked on the head
>mfw

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John has aways supported Hal, like a battered wife.

4/10.

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5/10.

>>39365036
Is this Parallax Hal?

File: 1343888763825.jpg-(140 KB, 942x1389, 6.jpg)

6/10.

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>Compassion would be easy be for me now. Only a hard man could beat this battered, half-dead fool.

One of the greatest Green Lantern, everyone.

7/10.

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That's such a dickish move, and right in front of Guy's girlfriend.

8/10.

>>39365201
>NO ONE PUNCH!

The GL Corps really doesn't screen for intelligence when handing out those rings, eh?

File: 1343889085558.jpg-(139 KB, 943x1386, 9.jpg)

And Guy did as his promised, and it was awesome.

9/10.

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And that's why Guy used to hate Hal's smug face. He still does a bit.

10/10.

Power-Girl's costume in this is amazing

>>39365341
Hal, you smug fuck.

Tell, does Guy get a chance to wipe that shit eating smirk off his face?

>>39365386

In the "War of the Green Lanterns" event Guy reminded of all the stupid shit Hal had ever done to him and they fought, but at the time they were both being slightly influenced by Parallax.

So they broke the fight off to pursue their mission.

>>39365386
>>39365444

Oh, and they also fought when Hal went all Parallax on everyone. Guy Gardner receives a vision of what Hal was doing to the corps, and then went with Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Captain Atom, Alan Scott and some other to stop him. Hal tried to kill him and then destroyed the prototypical yellow ring Guy used to have.

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>>39365542
He destroyed Guy's bar too as Parallax.

I liked Parallax before the tried to explain it as some kind of corruptible force within Hal.

I find much more believable that Hal went fucking crazy.

>>39365386

Hal ended up accepting that Guy was the only Green Lantern who could do the job as it was supposed to be done AND also had a good life compared to the others.

Hal was a walking ruin.
John destroyed TWO worlds.
Kyle's life was ruined by the ring, his girlfriend was killed and stuffed in a fridge... and Bueno Excelente raped him.

>>39353915
Pieface was actually a racial slur for people of Inuit (Eskimo) descent. It's because the Ice Cream Bars, Eskimo Pies, had Eskimos as the mascot. So yeah...he was just being racist.

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>>39365653
I find it funny that he was the at his most competent when he had a big yellow space bug in him.

>>39365653

This. It wasn't like he was suddenly posessed one day either. I mean you can see it was a gradual case of Hal not being able to handle his shit, and the Guardians being the dicks they tend to be these days.

>>39365161
Hal being controlled by the fear entity known as Parallax was a retcon. This is just Hal Jordan and he was getting older.

>>39365748

>Hal ended up accepting that Guy was the only Green Lantern who could do the job as it was supposed to be done AND also had a good life compared to the others.

Actually not true. He just tried to make amends because he was feeling really shitty about the stupid things he had done in life. I'm talking about Green Lantern: Rebirth here.

And John Stewart was a great Green Lantern. Sure, he blew Xanshi thanks to his over-confidence, but that event changed the character completely. He practically became a monk and tried to make things better, like with Mosaic World, which granted him Guardian status thanks to his efforts and accomplishments, before Hal decided to go all Parallax destroying the corps, robbing John of his newfound powers and his resurrected wife, thus ending Mosaic.

Hal kept threating Guy as a chump, though, but not at the same intensity as he used to do.

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>>39365765

>So yeah...he was just being racist.

Yeah, good ol' Hal.

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>>39365854
>>39365653
Yeah, Parralax was rather in character for him

He didn't know when to quit, when to stop trying to control everything in the end and give up sometimes, he was so willful that he was willing to kill everyone and go to absurd lengths to put everything back to the way it was and make go back to the way things were.

After he crossed the line with Kilowog he could no longer turn back, he had sacrificed too much to simply give up anymore.

Parralax was the down side of willpower, not knowing when to quit even when it's sometimes the more appropriate choice.

...this thread is making me hate Hal.

File: 1343891817611.jpg-(151 KB, 577x506, glv2-020-headbumpletter.jpg)

Hal was pretty special back in the day, but to be fair it was what the readers wanted.

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Man, nobody treats Zatanna that way. Bad Hal.

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Hal response here is pretty funny.

>>39366551
Except Batman after she betrayed him and all that.

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Why does he even keep the goddamn mask? Clearly, it never worked.

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What the fuck, Hal...

Thinking about it, so much shit could've been avoided in Identity Crisis and Hal had been there when Dr. Light raped Sue Dibny.

Anyone have the most recent page in the new Green Lantern where Hal actually outsmarts someone? (The one with Black Hand.)

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Hal Jordan, best friend ever and the Green Lantern with most moral fiber in the corps.

>>39366473
I'm still amazed that Hal didn't crash into that old Indigo guy with his car construct a few issues ago.

>>39366664
In the next panel Batman beats him up and starts screaming, "MIND WIPING IS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!! I'M BRUCE WAYNE!!!! I'M BRUCE WAYNEEEEEEEE!!!!!" All while tears run down his face.

>>39366725
>I'M BRUCE WAYNE!!!! I'M BRUCE WAYNEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Who's that?

We need some Alan Scott panels.

Alan Scott's ring was weak against wood. He literally just got clubbed in the head with chairs and shit all the time.

>>39366755

Alan Scott was replaced in his comic by a fucking dog.; The dog didn't even talk.

>>39366755

In those cases, Alan has an excuse.

Hal's weakness is yellow. He has no right getting clubbed like this all the time.

>>39366747
Batman then takes Hal to Wayne Manor where he creates a diagram and picture chart showing that he is in fact Bruce Wayne, even going as far as digging up old news paper articles and family photos. After a few hours Hal finally realizes that Batman is none other than BRUCE WAYNE! He then uses his ring to wipe this knowledge away...starting the process all over again, leaving Batman in tears.

>>39366809
WHAT

oh god WHAT

I can't even breathe please tell me this is true

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>>39366880
Yeah, Streak the Wonder Dog was originally a back-up feature in GL. He eventually became so popular that they pushed GL to the back up of his own title.

Alright. This is the greatest thread I've seen in a long time.

>>39367513
Agreed. MOAR.

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>>39366981

Not to mention that by the end, in their cross-overs, it was Streak who resolved most of the cases, taking as well the fame, while Alan Scott stood in the background completely overshadowed by a fucking dog. Who couldn't even talk.

Hell, the dog even used to save his ass.

You mean Rex the Wonder Dog wasn't original? Who came first, Rex or Streak?

>>39368409
I think we found the Hope Corgi. Except no wait, blue lanterns are normally useless, and just make green lanterns awesome. This is some sort of fear dog.

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>>39367679
>outsmarted by a dog

btw this thread made me wanna start reading GL. Where should I start?

>>39368877
Evidently, the beginning.

>>39351714
That was actually the premise of the original Green Lantern Movie...with Jack Black...

I'm not even kidding

So why does Geoff Johns have such a huge hard-on for this guy again?